From Stillwater-Ponca City (OK) Ostomy Outlook Feb 1999:

My Ostomy Song

Editor's Note: These lyrics were posted to the IOA World Discussion Forum on Jan 29, 1999 by Mike, who has had his ileostomy since 1976. Sung to the tune of the Beatles' song "Yesterday":

Ostomy, that's what the doctor said to me.
Then he made it a reality.
Now I have an ostomy.

Suddenly, my ileum is sticking out of me.
That's not where it used to be.
Oh, I believe in ostomy.

When I have to go it just flows outside of me.
And my bag's in place to catch my waste, thank you ostomy.

Ostomy, without you where would I be?
Now I can eat the food that's put in front of me.
Oh, I believe in ostomy.
ooze ooze ooze ooze ooze ooze ooze

Follow-up: In a posting on Jan 31, 1999, Mike suggested additional songs for which he might supply new lyrics:

To the tune of "Rolling on the River" - "Flowing Out my Stoma"; to the tune of "My Girl" - "My Guts"; and of course the R.E.M. classic "Losing My Religion" could be the tune for "Losing My Rectum." Bye for now.